90 days — 02 Jul 2008

It's been almost 90 days since my last post.

Whoosh.

It's not like nothing happened, or that I haven't written anything, or felt, reflected, pondered or brainstormed. No. It's just that I haven't published anything.

I have a number of drafts in store. On ACLs, mobile websites design - turning into a white paper -, various rants, on my relationship with technology or with life in general, notes on the latest conferences I've attended, etc. There's food for thought enough. Just nothing public. Yet.

It's just that the basic publishing requirements weren't met. No enough time, quality time, intimate time.

Technology at home can be misinterpreted, misunderstood if not clearly explained and shared. Technology can appear as a barrier, a refuge, an exit. Truth is that technology can be used as a barrier, a refuge or an exit.

In my personal case, it is perceived as work invading the home. The moment I open my notepad, it is as if I left home for, well.. for another world. A private space.

Exclusion and frustration are derived from this behaviour. The paradox is that I take the upmost care not to interfere, perturb or invade the home activities. I usually lift the screen of my MBP when all are occupied, in bed, when I feel that it won't be misunderstood, misinterpreted. But current reality denies me this right. Ironically, the uses I make of my computer these days is most of the time related to family life. It may be photo or video processing, family event scheduling, DVD authoring, etc.

Nevertheless, I must admit that a great part of my life lays on or beyond the internet. E-mail, IM, Twitter, Flickr are only a few pipes that connect me to my friends, partners and clients. As a freelancer, I feel compelled to remain available, to monitor the websites I manage or to feed the social networks I belong to.

It is probably all a question of balance. Maybe part of me has been drawn outwards for various reasons, maybe my personal balance is at stake, maybe I don't communicate well enough, or maybe it's just life. I don't know.

The fact is I've been saying í‚« I don't know í‚» quite often recently, and my online presence has suffered from it. To tell you the truth, I don't really care. Wrong. I do care. Put it this way, I blog firstly for myself, for me. If the need, or the opportunity diminishes or evolves, well I deal with it. Or try to. As best I can.

This weblog, like those which came before, is just a mean for me to express certain views and emotions or share tips. I've never had the ambition of building a community or anything like that. So sometimes, I just stop publishing - 'pub' like in 'public'. I just get on with my life in the real world. If there's one thing I learned recently it's that if you don't take it, nobody will give it to you. Very egocentric, I know.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but thanks for reading all the same. Enjoy the summer. It's over 29í‚°C at 21:30CET. Bliss. I love it.

Currently playing in iTunes: Fleur blanche by íƒâ€“rsten.